I really want to do it. I mean put the fucking gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. First, I would put plastic up around me and underneath me because I do not want my family to have to clean it up. Watching some of those reality shows you can see how traumatized people get when someone shoots themselves. If they are truly Christian, they should be happy for them because now they are out of pain and in a better place, but supposedly if you adhere to strict dogma, the suicider or one who killed thyself, would be sent to purgatory or hell. Fuck it, this is too much trouble. Now, I have to worry about where I am going when I already hate where I am. It's like the train leaves the station and I end up going to the right side of town where I never have enough or do enough to feel equal or fit in. I mean I would like to at least like me. In reality, I do like myself more than ever before but that is not saying a whole lot.
Fuck it, I forgot to buy Bullets!!!!!!!(1)
(1) No one is liable for my death but me.
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